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Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon (transcript)
Transcript Hoark: Fire! Vikings: Get the buckets! To the ocean! What happened? Stoick: The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South! Astrid: I'm on it! Stoick: Gronckles, aim for the roof! Fishlegs: Yeah! Stoick: Good work, just a few hot spots left. Hiccup: Where's Gobber? Is he still inside? Stoick: No, we can't find him. Gobber: I'm right here. Gobber: That beast will pay for this! Stoick: Gobber, what happened? Gobber: What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire! Ruffnut: What? Gobber: You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones! Hiccup: Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore. Stoick: He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a-- Gobber: Boneknapper?! Tuffnut: A what-knapper? Gobber: A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton. Fishlegs: The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It's awesome! Stoick: Come on, it's just a myth. It doesn't even exist. Gobber: I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire. Viking: Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire. Stoick: Still think it's the Boneknapper, or just your underpants? Gobber: I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil. Stoick: Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest. Gobber: You rest, I'm putting an end to this. Gobber: Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyways. Phil: Baa. Hiccup: We can't let him go by himself. All right, Vikings! Grab your shields. Teens: Yeah! Yes! Snotlout: There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon. Gobber: Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke! Hiccup: How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh? Snotlout: Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed. Gobber: I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper. True Vikings, you are. Ruffnut: Gobber, are we there yet? Fishlegs: Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones! Gobber: Not so, Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer. Ruffnut: Wait, so if we don't hear anything... we're dead? Tuffnut: I don't hear anything. Phil: Baa! Teens: AAAHHH!! Gobber: Good one, Phil. Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper? Gobber (v.o.): I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature. Teen Gobber: Dad, pull the boat over! Gobber's Father: Didn't I tell ya to go before we left? Gobber (v.o.): I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest...I had to have it. Gobber (v.o.): I reached in and pulled out the chest... It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Gobber (v.o.): But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face! Teen Gobber: Oh, my tooth! Gobber (v.o.): And there it was...I never even heard it coming... The Boneknapper! It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings! Teen Gobber: The treasure! Gobber (v.o.): I reached into the water... Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again! Teen Gobber: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Gobber (v.o.): The Boneknapper wanted that treasure...but I wanted it more! Gobber's Father: What took you so long? Snotlout: You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face? Gobber: Yeah, twice. Hiccup: Hey, it could happen. Gobber: What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast. Fishlegs: Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but...Boneknappers are not silent. Gobber: Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it... Fishlegs: Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be...? Gobber: I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything... Fishlegs: I really think we're gonna hit these... Gobber: ...I could taste the oncoming doom! Tuffnut: Whoa... Astrid: Um, I'm tasting rocks. Gobber: Ah, we're here. Ruffnut: Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are! Fishlegs: Except the Boneknapper. Legend says... Snotlout: Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking! Fishlegs: Okay, just hold on one darn second... Gobber: No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times! Hiccup: Oh, well that's...comforting. Gobber: You never forget your first shipwreck... Gobber (v.o.): I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure. Gobber (v.o.): There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks! I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters. Gobber: Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty! Someone forgot to brush! Gobber (v.o.): I didn't think I was going to make it. But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth...a giant hammerhead whale! Fishlegs: Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper? Gobber: Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle. Gobber (v.o.): All I had was my trusty egg beater. I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind! Gobber: Ah, azaleas! Gobber (v.o.): I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater. Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak! Tuffnut: Okay, wait a minute. Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper? Gobber: You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me... Gobber (v.o.): So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast. And when he was ready... he charged! And then I ran like the wind! But the traps failed! Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do... Gobber: Help! Gobber (v.o.): The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor! He tossed a mighty thunderbolt. Gobber: Aw, you missed. Thor: Wait for it... Gobber (v.o.): Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth... The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale! Hammerhead Yak: Deploy the yak. Gobber: Yes! Oh, my back! Fishlegs: Whoa... the whale saluted you? Gobber: Can you believe it? But the Boneknapper got away again! He found me on Berk-- Snotlout: Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this. Tuffnut: Yeah, you totally made everything up! Ruffnut: Come on, Gobber, it's time to get out of here! Snotlout: We need to get home! Tuffnut: You don't even have any proof that that thing exists! Gobber: Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle. Gobber: It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years. Fishlegs: It is stunning. Hiccup: Um...listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home? Gobber: Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait? Fishlegs: Um, Gobber, are you sure this is safe? Gobber: Safety's overrated. Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in a finish him off once and for all! Snotlout: It's sad when they get old. Hiccup: '''Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the Boneknapper! '''Gobber: Wormsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine! Hiccup: No wonder they entire village thinks you're crazy. Snotlout: Hello? He sees dead Vikings! Tuffnut: Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak... Fishlegs: Um, guys...? Astrid: This is a complete waste of time. Fishlegs: Guys, hello?! Turn around! Guys! GUYS!! Everyone: WHAT?! Hiccup: It's right behind us isn't it? Fishlegs: Well, what do you know? No roar. Gobber: RUN! Astrid: Okay, Gobber, we believe you! Gobber: Phil! Snotlout: Find a happy place, find a happy place... Fishlegs: No, no, no, please...please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head! Gobber: Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you! Hiccup: Wait. It searches for the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants! Gobber: Huh? Others: NO! Hiccup: Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle. Astrid: Gobber, please, you have to give it back. Gobber: No way, it's mine. Uh-oh. Hiccup: Give him back his bone! Gobber: NOOO! Hiccup: GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE! Gobber: NOOOOO! Noooo... oh, alright. Hiccup: Gobber! Gobber: Alright, you've got me. Make it fast. Hiccup: That's gonna give me nightmares. Astrid: Well, at least we have a ride home. Gobber: Aren't you cute? Yes, you are. Yes, you are! Snotlout: You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right." Tuffnut: His tailbone is hurting my tailbone! Hiccup: He sure seems happy to have that bone back. Fishlegs: Well, legend says that Boneknapper's roar is its mating call. Gobber: Oh, that's just a myth. Uh-oh! Phil:'''Baa! '''Gobber: I think Stoick will believe me now, eh? Category:Transcripts Category:Shorts Transcripts